Are You Angry? That’s Great!
By Karen Amato Schwartz, for Revive Your Life
Photo by Ferran
It’s written that all emotions have merit. Humans apparently are meant to experience a full wealth of feelings. It follows that repressing certain emotions may be working against nature.
I’ve always believed that anger has a place in the big scheme of things. It motivates one to respond in ways that may require too much effort if not fueled by passion. After all, most organizations with humanitarian, animal and ecological causes began when someone, somewhere, got good and angry at the status quo. They felt injustice and unfairness and allowed the resulting anger to light a fire, which in turn, initiated action. That so-called negative emotion thus became the impetus for many positive outcomes, thus defeating the notion that one should never get angry.
I’m often put into unusual situations, but the way I look at it, those things have to happen to someone, and they happen to me because I can take it. Well, another bizarre incident happened recently, but I made the best of my anger. I posted a message in an appropriate website forum. I figured, if it happened to me, it could happen to others, so my experience should serve some higher good. The majority of readers probably didn’t care, but some may be warned, and others may even think twice. I also presented my views to the “powers that be” not in a debate theme, but highlighting the financial drawback of their actions. It may never be glanced at again, but if it helps even one person in their future endeavors, it’s served its purpose. Then I tried to forget about it.
It seems that those who are slow to anger really are at a disadvantage in certain respects. One is that, if they have children, the kids may not have a clear idea of expectations or consequences. Another is that they could be taken advantage of by those with less character. Or, perhaps they allow a negative situation to continue too long before taking positive action, hoping that it corrects itself.
A social style seminar teaches that there are 4 personality types, and each reflects anger a bit differently. One reacts suddenly and loudly, but gets over it quickly (”Expressive”). Another analyzes the situation causing anger and responds tersely and with authority (”Driver”). The third expresses anger in a subtle manner, but still holds a grudge for awhile (”Amiable”). The final type just stops talking until they come to terms with the infraction-which may take years (”Analytical”). What’s truly fascinating about these findings is that a person moves between these different responses shown, depending of the degree of anger. In other words, for an Expressive to remain angry for any length of time, mirroring the Analytical classification, they have to be extremely angry, since it’s contrary to their basic personality to stay angry for very long (because they’re usually too busy expressing themselves)! When entire seminars are based on anger responses, you know that it must be an important psychological aspect of life.
Many folks believe that it’s not a good idea to keep anger inside, because it will cause other adverse reactions. A popular saying is “Depression is anger turned inward.” Now, that’s not to say that flying off the handle at every minor mistake or inopportune event is a medical antidote, but physical exercise does counteract the stress from not voicing anger. There is a definite mind/body connection with anger: People are noted as turning red, turning white, shaking, and speechless, with anger. It obviously affects us physically as well as emotionally. So why then do we try to curb anger? Because the loud, profane, disruptive way that anger usually erupts is socially unacceptable.
It’s not so bad to respect anger and to attempt to control its outward expression if there’s a chance innocent people could be caught in the cross-fire. There are much better ways to apply its inherent passion! If anger serves a purpose, it’s justified. If anger gives us the momentum to reach others who can right wrongs, it’s worthwhile. If anger changes us for the better, it’s better understood. If we let anger work for us, instead of the other way around, we’ve taken a huge step in the right direction.
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Yeah, I think the key is what you do with the emotion that matters. Anger can fuel a great workout or give you just the kick in the arse you might need.
@ J.D. - That’ s exactly the point, most emotions that we experience can be used for good - we just need to know how to use the energy they create! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
i often get angry… may be because i’m starting to feel that i age time by time and the worse is i can’t do anything about it!
but i read something about the law of attraction… what you think is what you will have… something like that. and on that book, i already read something about how to conquer anger and how to prevent being angry… it’s just by feeling happy inthe very first thing in the morning! isn’t it easy?…
smile be, be happy and think positive! that’s the secret…
i am really thrilled when i read the title of this article. it’s quite different and analogically correct.
when i am angry, i am indeed! i make it a point that before the day ends, my mood will loose down and eventually goes back to what i am usually, a happy one!
being angry is part of being a human. if you had not been angry all your life, it means that you are not true to you self and to others. even popes in rome get angry too?!…
learning to face your mood and making it not to extend beyond your limits can make a lot of difference.