Breaking the Stigma of Men and Mood
By Dorothy Sander, for Revive Your Life
Photo by serhio
Nineteen million people in this country suffer from depression each year and it affects people of both genders and from all walks of life. It is estimated that 40% of men between the ages of 40 and 60 suffer a serious depression. Four in ten men are stricken with a debilitating mood disorder at least once in their lifetime. However, a gender bias exists in the treatment of mood disorders. There are several reasons for this.
Male Depression Looks Different
Men experience depression differently than women, just as women experience heart attacks differently than men. Where women are more likely to experience feelings of sadness, low self-esteem, lack of self-worth and excessive guilt, men are more likely to suffer from sleep difficulties, irritability, fatigue and a lack of enjoyment in activities they previously enjoyed.
Men turn to drugs and alcohol more often than women thus masking their depression, or they throw themselves into their work to escape the pain and discomfort they are experiencing. Unlike women, they often become excessively frustrated, angry and sometimes abusive, and will engage in risky behaviors. Males are much more likely to commit suicide than women.
Men Avoid Treatment
Men experience mood disorders differently than women not only because of the differences in their physiology, but also because of traditional societal expectations. Men like to see themselves as the stronger sex and they feel that to admit to a mood disorder is to appear weak. They believe there is something wrong with them if they can’t fix it themselves or “tough it out”. As a result, men are more inclined to self-medicate through alcohol, drugs, sex, or other types of addictive behavior to deal with the pain, masking the underlying issue.
Differing Risk Factors
Mood disorders among men become more prevalent as they enter mid-life and the stresses of life increase. In addition, a family history of depression, mood disorders, and alcohol or drug abuse puts a man at a higher risk of experiencing a mood disorder in his lifetime. A chronic health condition, divorce or separation, the loss of a child, sexual difficulties, or stress on the job can all enhance the risk of depression.
Mood Disorders are Very Treatable
Eighty percent of all people treated for a mood disorder are cured. Many different types of drugs and treatments are readily available for those who seek help. Talk therapy, drug therapy, family support, exercise and diet changes are all proven successful treatments for depression.
The biggest obstacle to a cure for men is their own unwillingness to see their illness as an illness, not a character flaw, and to seek help. It is interesting to note that the men who most often seek help are those who have a loved one who is encouraging, supportive and non-judgmental, enabling their male loved one to seek help.
As men must begin to understand that just as lifting weights strengthens muscles, so therapy and/or anti-depressants, physical exercise and diet changes can strengthen their emotional well-being and improve their quality of life. Depression is not a sign of weakness - it is an illness like diabetes and is just as treatable.
If you have a loved one who suffers from a mood disorder, these are things you can do to help:
- Listen - give them someone to talk to
- Offer support and encouragement
- Be patient - accept that you alone cannot fix the problem
- Offer hope - try not to judge or condemn
- Never ignore talk of suicide, find professional help
- Encourage physical activity, but do not nag
- Be positive and assure them that with help they will feel better
- Remind them that seeking help is not a sign of weakness, but of strength
If you or someone you love suffers from depression, excessive anxiety, fear or guilt, drink or do drugs to feel better, or participate in risky behavior, seek help from a physician you trust and respect.
It’s time for society to abolish the stigma of men and mood disorders. This process can only begin once men decide to step out of the crowd and seek the help they are so desperately hoping for.
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It takes a real man to admit he has a problem. We are raised with the notion that “big boys don’t cry”. We are supposed to be the strong ones. This makes it difficult for us to accept a weakness when we have one. However, the only real way to be strong is to defeat such problems and move on. Great article!
@Jeff - all your points are very true. Problem with men is that we don’t always seek help and never see a doctor when we are sick or feeling depressed.
Men have different pressures than women for sure. I am not saying that women don’t have their issues becaue they do too.
Thanks for this post Dorothy!
Trey
when i learned from my email that ryl has this new post, i immediately read it… its is true that men easily get out of mood and depression. i, myself suffer from lack of sleep and easily get spoiled or having disinterest on my previous activities…
thanks for the advice mentioned on this post. men suffering from such disorder really need someone to rely on, someone that can make your confidence back again, someone that can give you hope…
i quote the line “Remind them that seeking help is not a sign of weakness, but of strength”… this really help a lot on me actually…
this post will really wake up those men who value more their maculinity image than their own perspective in life….
Ok, and then becuse the depression of men can bring them into the danger, so we need to avoid the factor. And your tips is good. Well i’m a man and i never get depression, i’m enjoyed all and take a problem as a challenge/game.
People also should increase their spiritual life, so when problem come, their take it not as a problem and can think to solve it with relax
Anyway, and too bad, a lot of young age people nowadays is depression, not strange since school task is more hard year by year, love matter, etc…
My husband suffers from bipolar disorder and the manic episodes far outweigh the depressive ones. I think this correlates to the article because men are just as susceptible to depression as women are, but as the article states, it just presents differently. He has problems with sleep disorders and over-medicates to correct it.
I have dysthymia and this describes me quite well, I have a nonstop feeling of unease or frustration–I wouldn’t call it sadness. Nothing really interests me.